Owning What You Choose To Do with Bola Sokunbi | Episode 60

This is an unedited transcript and the timestamps don’t match exactly with the final audio. Thanks for your understanding!

10:36:02 Alright, so let me record so it’s not for not. And we will get started.
10:36:14 Okay, so started recording because when the read popped up Hopefully it’s recording on my computer as well, cause when the AI thing popped up, it said like, okay, recording started.
10:36:54 So I’m just gonna kick it out and then I will record. All these little zoom features.
10:37:01 Constantly. Alright, there we go. Alright, so we’ll just dive straight in.
10:37:07 Are you ready?
10:37:07 Yes, I am.
10:37:08 Okay, awesome. So first and foremost, I would love to know what’s your personality type from any framework that resonates with you.
10:37:18 So I don’t really know what the frameworks are. I know I’ve done personality type.
10:37:23 Assessments in the past. I can’t tell you that I remember. What I would describe my personality as, fun.
10:37:31 Intentional, I would say I can be quiet at times. I’m also somewhat of an introvert.
10:37:38 I guess I would be described as a foe extrovert. So basically I know how to participate.
10:37:43 In their group setting, what I prefer to be with myself or it takes time to recover from being like in a social setting.
10:37:53 So I would, I would say that’s my personality. I also like to do, I always do what I say I’m going to get done.
10:37:59 And if I’m if I say I’m not gonna do it, believe that I’m not gonna do it.
10:38:05 I love that boundaries all the way that’s so important. Yeah and I totally get the ability to like turn it on when you need to right but then also needing that.
10:38:17 Recovery time all alone with your thoughts, with your visions. I totally resonate with that.
10:38:23 So you have built essentially a media empire. You have built a community. You have built so, so much over these past however many years.
10:38:37 I’d love to know how you view your current trajectory. What’s your vision for your life and your business and how they intertwine?
10:38:43 Oh, that’s really a question. So business visions for my business is just really it’s been the same and it’s to create a business of impact that just helps women particularly.
10:38:57 That’s what the focus is and being able to do that at scale. That’s something that I’ve always worked towards, not because I want to pursue a big massive business, but because I want to be able to just support as many people with what it is that I do as possible.
10:39:12 In terms of my live trajectory wise I’m I’m a mom and a wife so I think it’s doing excel in those core tasks.
10:39:22 First, especially as a mom to young kids and being present, being able to support them. Being able to teach them.
10:39:30 So that’s like a top priority. You know, maintaining my relationship with my husband. And it kind of sounds like, mmm, okay.
10:39:39 But by family, that’s very, very important to me and I prioritize that. So that’s just, you know, in terms of trajectory, and I prioritize that.
10:39:48 So that’s just, you know, in terms of trajectory, just like selling in that aspect of my personal life and being able to enjoy.
10:39:52 The moment so I don’t have, you know, like. I feel like I’ve had enough life experience to know that you want to try to enjoy the life that you’re living now as opposed to being in pursuit of a life you could have tomorrow because today is here and tomorrow is on certain.
10:40:07 So that’s, I guess that would be my answer too, to the question.
10:40:11 Yeah, and that is so important because as entrepreneurs were drawn to that vision, right? You clearly have a big vision of supporting as many women as possible.
10:40:23 Reaching as many women as possible, creating a business of impact that matters, right? That’s big.
10:40:28 And yet, enjoying the people you have right in front of you, the lives you have created, the life you are creating together with these people you love so so much.
10:40:39 That is such an important reminder that that we can do and be both. And I also really love how you ordered it of excelling in those core tasks because being a wife and a mom or any identity It is work, right?
10:41:00 Hmm.
10:40:55 It does not just come to us. Even if we are, you know, natural caregivers or even if we are, you know, so deeply in love with our partner or whatever it is, we.
10:41:07 It takes work to show up and be present and be there for ourselves and the people we care about. So I really appreciate that you made it really tactical, to of I can love these people and also there are things that need to get done for us to be living our best lives together.
10:41:25 Yeah, and you know, when, when you, based on how you described it, you know, when you are spending time with people that you care about.
10:41:34 It also gives you like a greater sense of purpose. You are happier. You know, when I when I am able to pour into my kids and my husband and my family life, I’m a better me and I can then pour into the business that I’m running.
10:41:47 As well, whereas if I wasn’t happy in those aspects and it’s hard to, to successfully run a business or pour myself into my business or execute in a happy way because.
10:41:58 I just, I’m not doing what I want to do in a different aspect of my life, if that makes sense.
10:42:07 Okay.
10:42:03 Oh, absolutely. I have a little one too. I have a husband too and Yes, when something is not right on the home front, it is really, really hard to show up on the workfront.
10:42:15 Okay. Yes.
10:42:17 Although sometimes I seek solace in the workfront because you know sometimes it feels a little bit more in our control or sometimes it feels.
10:42:23 That bucket in some other way so that we can be you know as fully human and fully multi-passinate as as possible.
10:42:29 Yeah.
10:42:30 Yeah. So what was the one decision or experience that changed the trajectory of your life?
10:42:38 You have not always been doing what you’re doing now.
10:42:41 No, I haven’t and So what I think about that question, I’ve had like many different experiences in my life.
10:42:50 So I don’t, I didn’t just wake up one day and say, no, I’m going to start my business.
10:42:54 So let’s keep it in the context of business. I think it was just over time and I worked in tech.
10:43:02 I’m a tech girl. I am computer science major. A lot of people don’t realize that. And I worked in technology for a very long time, all of my career pretty much.
10:43:14 I worked before I started my job, my business full time I worked in tech for about 11 and a half years and I always love what I did, but I just realized that it was it was a small drop in a big mighty ocean which is actually meant that if I was not there at that job I’d be missed.
10:43:29 Briefly, but at the end of the day, I would do find a replacement and I was really just a number at this job and the work was important, right?
10:43:40 It was innovative technology, but it. It wasn’t like life changing to me. And so I always felt like a little bit of a void.
10:43:47 Like I wanted to do something that had meaning that mattered and then after I had my twins I started thinking about well you know when my kids grew up and they talk about what I did.
10:44:02 Yeah.
10:43:58 Are they gonna say, oh, mommy worked at a tech company? Or you know what is legacy that I’m waiting for my kids about me how do I want them to look at me?
10:44:12 How am I reflecting who I truly want to be for my kids? And so I was really brainstorming like what can I do that is meaningful to me that it’s gonna have some put up impact.
10:44:20 I had no idea what gonna be personal finance. I just knew I enjoyed. Excuse me at the time blogging about money.
10:44:27 Talking about. Goal setting and planning and I would always talk to my friends about investing and budgeting and saving and things like that.
10:44:34 And it took me a couple of years to kind of land on personal finance as something it wasn’t even you know like a business well just something I was gonna do on the side that was interesting to me that was meaningful to me to talk about something that had a big impact on people’s lives, which was money.
10:44:52 And that’s just really how you know like the trajectory of what I was doing, Sorry to shift.
10:44:56 So after my kids were born, I think that in combination with. A bit of post part of depression, of just feeling like What am I doing?
10:45:04 What is it worth to anyone? What does it mean? Am I truly happy? And so I decided to take the leap of faith to just start a business called clever of finance and to see who I could help or how I could share my story and how I could learn from other women.
10:45:20 And so that’s I think that is the that decision or that you know that journey kind of led to me being here.
10:45:29 And essentially shifting my wife from being, you know, I would be a VP of something. In the tech world now.
10:45:37 Versus being a founder. CEO of my own company.
10:45:40 Yes, and I think that’s a really important nuance that you touch on of, you know, I could have been fine.
10:45:48 I could have been, you know, quote unquote successful. I, you know, might have been missed a little or I could have taken that leap of faith and that’s what entrepreneurship is right whether it you know quote unquote succeeds or fails whether it morphs into something completely different than what we originally imagine.
10:46:08 It is always that leap of faith. It’s that bet on ourselves. It’s that bet on our ability to connect with other humans.
10:46:14 And provide value in whatever feels right for us and then it’s that alignment where all the magic happens and I love your focus on women.
10:46:25 I know that you do a lot with women of color specifically and it’s just so Wonderful that you’re able to create a very good living for yourself for your family, but also have that impact that you want to make.
10:46:42 It’s such a testament to the power of business for good. So yeah, thank you so much for that example.
10:46:49 I love that thinking.
10:46:50 Yeah. So. I feel like you even nodded to these already, but what are some of your guiding values and how have they sparked action specifically in your business or even sort of overliked overlapped into your personal life?
10:47:07 So for me, I have a few personal values, that apply across like my personal life, my business, and pretty much everything I do.
10:47:15 And one of them is not to let life happen to me, but to be intentional, right? If I don’t like something, this is something my parents raised me to believe if there’s something I don’t like, what can I do to change it, right?
10:47:31 Sometimes we tend to fall into the mindset of what was me, this is what it’s meant to be.
10:47:37 Some people take as far as saying it’s a system or a person working against you, but ultimately, you know, there are certain things in your control.
10:47:45 You may not be able to control your current circumstances, but you can control how you react to it. You can control how you think about it.
10:47:52 You can control. What actions you’re able to take around. And so it’s not letting life happen to me and just being intentional even in the small things about getting stuff done.
10:48:04 I burnt dinner, okay, you know what? I’m gonna be upset about it. Maybe I’ll shed a tier 2.
10:48:09 Okay.
10:48:09 But we’re gonna find something else to eat real quick and I’m not gonna sit here complaining about this burnt dinner because guess what we can’t eat the front dinner and there’s nothing we can do about it.
10:48:17 And so I also take that into my business where it’s like, okay, you know, the economy is not doing great.
10:48:24 Business Amazon flows. There’s, you know, you, you are an entrepreneur. You see this in business.
10:48:28 There’s upstairs down, there’s AI, there’s, there’s changes and are you, are we gonna sit back and say, you know what, it is what it is, let’s shut down the business.
10:48:39 Are you gonna play? How do we, how do we change? That’s, you know, one of the values where we should operate in.
10:48:46 And I also remind myself that it is a marathon, not a sprint. And I also remind myself that it is a marathon, not a sprint, especially in entrepreneurship that it is a marathon not a sprint, especially in entrepreneurship.
10:48:55 It can be very, I guess, discouraging. To see a lot of things happening, especially in this world of social media.
10:48:58 And you like, oh my god, I haven’t done that. I don’t know how to do that.
10:49:02 I wish I was doing that. Oh, that person’s business is is growing so quickly, but you have no idea what their back story is.
10:49:09 Like I have cried, on this journey of growing my business. It has not been easy, but what I know is that it has not been one big thing that helped my business to grow.
10:49:22 It has been hundreds and thousands of little steps, tiny steps that have accumulated over time that have gotten me here.
10:49:29 And not giving up. And so knowing that. Okay, I may have a list of I have my to-do list in front of me and it always has like 30 or 40 things.
10:49:40 Hmm.
10:49:36 If I do 2 things today. I’ve done something. If tomorrow I have a migrant and I cannot work, you know what?
10:49:44 I’m gonna use it as a moment of rest so that the following day I can get back up and and do something.
10:49:49 So, It is a marathon not as friends and also when it comes to values, I always try to be honest and transparent and just say what it is really going what is really going on especially to people who work for me or just like family in general.
10:50:08 Hmm.
10:50:12 Yeah.
10:50:07 I do not like smoke and mirrors. I do not like like say what you mean and me what you say and that’s just who I am and I would also say that a big value to me is loyalty.
10:50:19 I’m very loyal. As a mom, as a wife, as a friend, as an entrepreneur, I’m loyal to my business.
10:50:26 And so those are the values I operate by.
10:50:27 Beautiful and when you were talking about intentionality and which is also one of my core values and saying like, oh, even in the little things.
10:50:39 I almost feel like especially in the little things, like you said. It is those hundreds of thousands of little steps, little choices, little opportunities that add up into who we are, what we do.
10:50:54 Yes.
10:50:56 What we’re capable of. And I think that’s such a beautiful reminder because Sometimes we think, oh, well, we either got the TEDx talk or we didn’t.
10:51:07 We either, you know, made the income goal or we didn’t. I have a whole podcast episode actually about celebrations on our own terms because it’s also our arbitrary, right?
10:51:20 Who’s to say what success is? Who’s to say what decision is, you know, the life-changing one or not?
10:51:29 Yeah.
10:51:27 It all tips the scale. And you think of that, you know, single grain of rice on the scale that finally tips it over.
10:51:34 Finally makes it, okay, we’re in a flow now instead of an, or, okay, we’re in in the positive instead of the negative or whatever it is.
10:51:45 And so yeah, I think those were such great examples. I also love the, I think those were such great examples.
10:51:52 Okay.
10:51:51 I also love the like dinner real-life situation but then also love the like burnt dinner real life situation but then also the you know business and career accolades that you can, you know, add to your to your belt as well.
10:52:03 And so thank you so much for sharing those.
10:52:05 Yeah, and I think it’s really important that, you know, if you’re listening, like, There is no such thing as perfection in business, perfection and life.
10:52:13 Hmm.
10:52:13 Every day can be a mistake. And, you know, I’ve never said. I’ve never hit a hundred percent of the goals I’ve set, right?
10:52:22 And I think that’s partially because I don’t set myself easy goals, but I don’t look at it and say, you know what, I did not meet 45% of my goals.
10:52:29 What was me? I’m like, I, I, like you said, celebrating on your own terms.
10:52:35 I tell myself I hit 55% of my goals. This is awesome. So what can I now add on to that 45 to have a new 100% goal then working towards knowing that I may not hit it but I’m going to challenge myself to get there and that’s just the way I approach every aspect of my life, including my business as well.
10:52:52 It’s you know, glass half full versus half empty that. That really has a lot of the way you think about it has a huge impact on your mindset and your approach to things and how you execute things and that also ties into your values and what you believe to be true and how you operate as a human being.
10:53:19 Yes.
10:53:12 And I think that permeates through your content too. Obviously we know each other from your blog and I think that is so felt.
10:53:24 In the content that you put out and the way you make personal finance so approachable, so accessible, so not perfection seeking.
10:53:36 And you really give readers and you know community members. Permission to experiment to budget on their own terms to set goals on their own terms because for us to have a you know one tried and true system for how you should make spend save invest money makes no sense because we all have different Goals, we all have different passions.
10:54:01 We all have different life experiences. Some of us have generational wealth. Some of us have generational debt.
10:54:07 You know, like that we are never starting from the same place or going to the same place. So that permission to really listen to ourselves, especially in relationship with our money.
10:54:18 Really, really permeates through the Clever Girl brand, which I really, really appreciate.
10:54:27 So I’m gonna ask you a biggest question, but you can also think of the tiniest one.
10:54:33 Okay.
10:54:34 Whatever comes to mind, what is the biggest lesson you’ve learned as an entrepreneur or a tiny tiny one that you have to constantly remind yourself of or anything in between some sort of lesson that you would like to share.
10:54:48 That has really shined through on your entrepreneurial journey.
10:54:53 I would say, the biggest lesson or series of lessons have been around just not Be building a business.
10:55:05 Hmm.
10:55:03 Of concrete, right? Like concrete is a hard substance. It’s not malleable. You can’t mold it.
10:55:10 You can’t shift it. Once it’s set, it’s set. And this is just really a lie yourself permission to pivot, right, and to change and knowing that you haven’t failed if you do that.
10:55:22 So the business I have today is not the business that I started with, right? It’s the same name, but my business has changed and evolved over time.
10:55:31 And this is because I used every Everything I tested in my business was an opportunity to learn, okay, do I personally like to do this?
10:55:39 Is this going to work from a skill perspective? Do the people who are consuming the clever finance content like this.
10:55:47 Did they want to see this? You know, and so there are so many things that I’ve tested and I think when I first started my business, I know I had the idea that I was going to build a business that had a product associated to it.
10:56:01 It was going to be more coaching based not just by me, but like a series of other coaches and it was a whole different, it was never media content.
10:56:10 But then as I started to grow and learn more about what I enjoyed doing on what was working, I realized I knew what my audience is.
10:56:19 They enjoy reading the content that I create I don’t like to do coaching I don’t like dealing with other coaches.
10:56:27 I like broad engagement and so I had to learn that and there are many times where I initially felt that you know what this coaching thing is not working because I don’t like it and so maybe this is not a good idea, but then I had to remind myself that the intent of my business.
10:56:45 Was not to create a business that coaches women. It was to create a business of impact to help women.
10:56:54 And that means there are so many different ways in which I could create a business to help women, whether it’s coaching, whether it’s content, whether it’s a podcast, whether it’s a video, whether it’s a book, whether it is a social media. There’s so many options.
10:57:04 So why my time myself? Into this one thing that is not working out well because I don’t enjoy it and considering myself a failure when there’s you know think about the broader vision of the business and so that’s that was a very big lesson for me and that’s how I operate.
10:57:21 We tested a lot of things. We pivot in a lot of ways. Some things work, some things don’t.
10:57:25 It doesn’t mean the business has failed. It just means that there’s now a different way to continue to have that impact.
10:57:31 Now a different way to be able to reach that one we are trying to reach to be able to talk to her and hear what she wants to get from us as a platform.
10:57:40 And so that’s how I think about it, not being afraid to pivot, not building a business made out of concrete, but creating one that you can adjust, you can shift and thinking about the broader intention, the greater intention, the greater goal, the greater vision that you have.
10:57:54 For what you want to accomplish as a business owner.
10:57:58 And my favorite thing about what you just mentioned for the malleability, the flexibility is that you considered both yourself, your strengths, your interests.
10:58:09 Your energy and your audience at the same time. Again, that magic is in the overlap where your values overlap where your ability to offer something and your audience’s needs overlap.
10:58:23 It’s all in that overlap because we can have the most amazing business idea or content or whatever.
10:58:28 Yeah.
10:58:29 And if there are no people on the receiving end of it, then we don’t have a business.
10:58:32 Right? Or we can have the most amazing community and if we’re not showing up. Not putting out the content.
10:58:39 Or creating the resources or whatever it is that people need from us. We don’t have a business.
10:58:44 So, Yeah, I think you’re absolutely spot on considering. Both feedback from yourself and from your people, right?
10:58:54 Your clever girl, is, is the most important thing and if you have those 2 elements in mind, then you can’t go wrong.
10:59:03 I agree.
10:59:02 Yeah. So given your expertise in many things, either as a writer, as an entrepreneur or in the personal finance realm.
10:59:14 What tactical tip? Do you have 4 fellow business leaders who might be listening?
10:59:21 So I would say 2 things. One, you heard me mention the list. As when you start your business and it’s just to yourself and I, you kind of know all the things that need to happen because it’s you that’s doing all of it.
10:59:32 But has your business grows, you know, whether you’re working with contractors or full-time employees.
10:59:38 You are now in this position where your business has tentacles and sometimes you’re not aware of everything that you touch because it’s somebody else’s tentacles that’s kind of like tied to your tentacle.
10:59:48 Helping you run your business. So for me, really planning and I work off a lot of lists, I have meetings with my team just said that we’re all on the same page about what needs to be done.
11:00:01 Is very important, especially if you’re going a business just having a plan of what are all the things that you need to get done on a daily basis on a weekly basis.
11:00:09 What are the non-negotiables each day, each week each month? What are things that can fall to the side that you can pick up later?
11:00:15 And just really. Assess your business as often as possible and make sure you are focusing on what’s really driving the revenue and dropping the deadweight.
11:00:25 And sometimes the deadweight is stuff that you may really love, but it’s really not helping you grow your business.
11:00:30 You know, is asking yourself, how can I turn this into something that is worth the value in time or how do I let this go and find something else to replace it that is going to be worth its value in time.
11:00:42 So that planning and that assessing and strategizing is is really important. And the second thing I would say is listen, it’s really important to listen not to not just the people who support you but to the people who you are serving through your business.
11:00:56 A lot of times as business grows it’s easy to get into this ego, oh I’ve built a big business so I have it built business that’s bringing a recurring income and You know, I have arrived.
11:01:08 You never around. I mean, that’s it. If you feel like you’ve arrived, you know what?
11:01:13 Okay.
11:01:13 More power to you, but I think there’s always opportunity for growth and for learning and so always listen, right, ask for feedback, listen to your audience, other things that can be improved.
11:01:23 Other things that as a leader I can do better like have an open ear and you’re gonna have to learn to be empathetic.
11:01:31 You’re gonna have to learn to be compassionate. You’re gonna have to learn to be mindful of your words even when people kiss you off.
11:01:35 Hmm.
11:01:35 So to the end of the earth. But also think about your bigger purpose. So, listening is a really important tool.
11:01:44 You know, and sometimes it’s looking at the data and listening to what your data is telling you what your audience is saying to you, what your team is saying to you, what your contractors are saying to you.
11:01:57 And this just helps you. Gain insight to better better your business and to better yourself.
11:02:02 Yes, and what you said about, you’ve never arrived that is sort of like the beauty and Horrible, horrible pain point of entrepreneurship, right?
11:02:13 Yes.
11:02:13 Is like there is no end destination. Yes, you have the goals. But then the target shifts. The market shifts.
11:02:21 Yes.
11:02:19 The audience shifts, your life situation shifts, right? Like there is never an end in even if you, you know, build a business for with the intent of selling.
11:02:31 Yeah.
11:02:30 The business will still evolve without you. You will still evolve in your own way. So there is never that arrival point.
11:02:36 Yeah.
11:02:36 So going into that and using that as momentum and motivation is such a valuable tool rather than like oh why have I never arrived well it’s because you will never get there.
11:02:47 Hmm. And I will add that a tactical tip. Even though it’s not directly business, it’s important that if you own a business that you prioritize taking care of yourself.
11:03:02 Especially when you first started business, it’s easy to find yourself working. Most hours of the day you may have a full time job and you have a family and you’re just going you’re operating on very little sleep, you’re trying to get the bins off the ground or your business is off the ground and you just are not making enough time for yourself.
11:03:18 Burnout is real. I’ve experienced it multiple times and it’s really important to take care of you because there is no you if you’re not healthy then there’s you know your business doesn’t exist right your vision doesn’t exist and That aside, just the weight of building a business, it’s not like a full-time job where you leave the parking lot or you log out of your computer and you don’t have
11:03:40 to think about that job until you log in tomorrow morning. As a business owner, even when you’re at the movies at dinner in the back of your head, you’re thinking about your other child’s which is this business you started because everything Everything is dependent on you and I remember like I had a really like, I don’t even know how to describe but like a very stressful moment once when I was climbing a conversation
11:04:08 with someone who worked for Cover of Finance and she said something oh yeah you know that She’s she’s saving because they’re trying to buy a new house and so she’s using all her income from this job to do that I was like wait a minute like somebody’s mortgage is dependent on What I’m doing, that is stressful.
11:04:25 That’s scary. Yeah.
11:04:25 That is very like somebody being able to buy groceries and pay their rent or their mortgage being dependent on you.
11:04:33 It’s like lay on the burdens, this is the thing. I said it’s really important that you take, you take care of yourself so that you can then take care of the business at the same time.
11:04:44 You take care of yourself so that you can then take care of the business at the same time take care of the people who also rely on you.
11:04:46 For that income as well.
11:04:49 At the same time of it being such a burden, it’s also such a privilege. Like what a way to have impact too.
11:04:55 Yes, it is. Yeah, it’s like this weighted skill. We’re on one side.
11:04:58 Yeah.
11:05:00 It’s like, oh, god, this is so stressful. Oh my god, I love it because if you didn’t love or if you weren’t trying to like if you weren’t just so interested in getting this thing to work and to grow you still we wouldn’t still be doing it like we all have the option of let’s go find a part-time job.
11:05:14 Let’s quit this business. Like quitting is always an option on the table. The choices. Do you choose to take that?
11:05:20 Choice, right? And so it is a privilege. It is exciting. It is a rush, but it can also be a burden.
11:05:28 So it’s just really maintaining your mental health so that you can just be able to get through, cause even sometimes that privilege that rush can be overwhelming.
11:05:37 Oh yeah. Yeah.
11:05:38 But they can stop you in your track. Oh my god, this is so exciting. You know, I want to build this business.
11:05:43 I have all these ideas, but it’s like, oh my god, I don’t have the time.
11:05:45 I have 50 things on my to do list. I don’t have the resources. I don’t have like you can get stuck in this like.
11:05:51 Yeah.
11:05:50 Just cycle of thoughts where you don’t allow so that step out and just take any action or you just overwhelm yourself and then you quit in the midst of the excitement because it’s too much.
11:06:02 Yeah.
11:06:03 So taking care of yourself, your emotional and mental health as an entrepreneur is so important. I can’t even stress that enough.
11:06:09 Hmm.
11:06:14 Hmm.
11:06:10 Because this is your job. You’re the CEO, you’re the janitor, you’re the CEO, you’re the janitor, you’re the HR person, you are the, HR person, you are the social media person, you are the person doing all these things, but especially when you first start, even if you are not doing them, someone who is doing them is coming
11:06:24 to lay there. Worries on you about Instagram is not working today. I don’t like the algorithm, blah, blah, blah.
11:06:33 You are the carrier of all the burns in your business. So.
11:06:52 Yes.
11:06:36 Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And even those of us who haven’t scaled either don’t have employees that we’re responsible for or haven’t even branched out into contractors or whatever position we’re in, so often we carry the burden of our clients too of, you know, they hire us for this one thing or they come to you for, you know, this one slice of, you know, the
11:07:06 Yup.
11:06:59 personal finance puzzle or their life puzzle. And, but we are absolutely not responsible for the actions they take for how they implement the information we give for, the circumstances that come their way that are absolutely outside of our control and their control.
11:07:16 And so often, especially for those of us who are empaths or highly sensitive people or just deeply carrying conscious which is everyone who listens to this podcast.
11:07:33 Yes.
11:07:28 It is so easy to bear the burdens of other people. And so I think it’s so, so important to take that time or space or toolkit or whatever it is that that makes you feel cared for as you’ve suggested.
11:07:50 Yeah.
11:07:43 So that we can forge forward and reach more people or reach the people we have in our orbit more deeply without sacrificing all of ourselves at the same time.
11:08:00 Yeah.
11:07:54 I read an article once and it said something about every therapist needs a therapist because as a therapist you are your taking on the burden of other people and at scale, right?
11:08:07 Hmm.
11:08:08 If you’re a therapist that spends 8 HA day, at scale, right? If you’re a therapist that spends 8 HA day, 8 sessions or 6 sessions every day, 8 sessions or 6 sessions every day, 5 days a week.
11:08:15 People are unburdening themselves by talking to you and you are taking all these burdens by being there to hear them and support them.
11:08:22 You also need somebody else to be there to hear you and support you. And so if you take that and just apply to business perspective, it can be really difficult to build a business in isolation, especially if it’s just you, especially if you are a client focused business owner or you have not yet scaled or you don’t want to and that’s perfectly fine.
11:08:42 You work, you know, on your own. It’s really important that you have a community of other people.
11:08:46 In business that you can just talk to that you can just spend. 2 that you can learn from that you can exchange ideas with that will support you on your difficult days.
11:08:54 It’s really important. So having friends or acquaintances or people that you meet in the business space, for me, I mentioned earlier, I’m introverted.
11:09:06 Hmm.
11:09:03 I do not like to go to meet ups for no reason. I don’t want to be at a social event if you’re not getting married.
11:09:10 It’s not your birthday. Why am I here? What is the purpose? But it’s, you know, I’ve had to step out of my comfort zone and it has been well worth it because I’ve met people that have just really supported me.
11:09:21 That have given me ideas and insights that have helped me think about things in a way that I wouldn’t think about on my own.
11:09:29 Having that sisterhood or brotherhood or peoplehood in a business that can support you, like might have people, mentors, friends, advisors, is really important.
11:09:45 You don’t wanna, this journey is hard enough as you, like minded people, mentors, friends, advisors, is really important.
11:09:47 Okay. Hmm.
11:09:59 Hmm.
11:09:50 You don’t wanna, this journey is hard enough, advisors, is really important. You don’t wanna, this journey is hard enough as you already know, actually as a business owner, it is hard enough as you already know, actually as a business owner, it, it is hard.
11:10:12 There is days you’re gonna spend hours enough as you already know actually as a business owner it it is hard.
11:10:24 There is days you’re gonna spend hours and weeks times you’re gonna spend weeks working on you know try to find them The internet is a great place. There are so many business communities online.
11:10:24 Hmm. Yeah.
11:10:27 You know, people you can connect and connect through LinkedIn. The world is back to being open now.
11:10:30 There’s a lot of business events that you know you can step out of your comfort zone and just attend to meet a few people you can reach out to people and say, hey, you know, I’ve been watching you from a distance, you know, I would love to chat briefly.
11:10:40 I’m a business owner. Can we chat over coffee? Can I have 15 min of your time?
11:10:44 This is how you make friends, right? And you need them in the business world as well.
11:10:59 Yeah.
11:10:49 Yeah, and as an introvert, I totally relate to I don’t want to go to this place this is not a good use of my time and yet every single guest I’ve had on this podcast I have met in some capacity somewhere, right?
11:11:05 We resonated on some level because of something, right? Whether it was literally randomly matched.
11:11:19 Well.
11:11:13 One of my best friends in life and business is someone that I randomly got assigned with via lunch club and I had a lot of Dud conversations and then I met her, right?
11:11:26 And so it can feel like an uphill battle of finding that network or that pocket of friends or that safe space and sometimes even it might come from really unexpected places too, right?
11:11:39 So you might be in a mom group and meet a fellow entrepreneur and all of a sudden you have a business besty.
11:11:46 That you weren’t even seeking in a business setting, right? Or you’re in a business setting and, you find someone who also has chronic illness and all of a sudden you have a chronic illness buddy from a completely different context.
11:12:00 So we do have to put ourselves out there while still being mindful of our energy. So we do have to put ourselves out there while still being mindful of our energy, our time, you know, our capacity.
11:12:07 I agree.
11:12:07 Yeah. So what’s something that you wish you had known? Either about personal finance or about media entrepreneurship in general before you get got started or maybe even about being an author.
11:12:22 Yeah, what’s just something you had known before you started it?
11:12:25 You know what? To be honest, I feel like the things I wish had known, if I had known them, I won’t have started.
11:12:30 Yeah, that sounds about right.
11:12:32 I’m like, I don’t even bother. Okay, thank you. It’s gonna be hard.
11:12:36 Okay, you know, it’s gonna be hard. Okay, you know what? Let me rethink that decision.
11:12:39 Yeah.
11:12:39 Writing is stressful. Okay, great. I’m not gonna do it. So I feel like I don’t know if I would have wanted to know.
11:12:47 Yeah.
11:12:47 But I would say that, I would have wanted to build out my support system earlier, my of entrepreneurs, because there is, you know, your friends.
11:13:00 As much as you love them, look, they love you. A lot of them are not going to be interested in entrepreneurship or this vision, this mission that you have and that’s perfectly fine.
11:13:10 Right? But again, like I mentioned, it can be isolating if it’s just you in this space trying to figure this out and you don’t you haven’t built that support group of people because in your day-to-day life right you’re cooking something you’re not sure of the recipe you pull over, and say, hey, this one or 2 tablespoons of salt and it’s a really good conversation and you go back to
11:13:28 your cooking or you know you’re having a baby who’s teething and you call another friend who has older kids that go did you give them what did you give them how did you help them and it’s a real quick conversation and you know you get the support you need and just little touches here and there and that also applies to business.
11:13:45 So just having those people around you something I wish I had done earlier on. As early as possible, even when you first have your business idea, Right?
11:13:55 Find the right people to support you. Your mom might be your best friend, but she may not really care about.
11:14:00 Personal finance or marketing or whatever is that you’re doing and so it’s okay right you just find other people who do that.
11:14:08 Can support you during those times.
11:14:11 Yeah, or they care they just can’t get it. They just can’t wrap their head around it.
11:14:13 You can’t get it, they can’t help you. Yes.
11:14:16 Yeah. You know, like what is this online business world? I don’t get it. What do you do all day?
11:14:25 Okay.
11:14:21 Like how are you filling your time? Yeah, yeah I think that’s a wonderful lesson to have learned.
11:14:29 So what advice do you have for women to take confident meaningful action, either in their life, in their business or in their personal finances.
11:14:38 Hmm. I would say. Own what it is that you choose to do. Be confident.
11:14:44 Hmm.
11:14:46 Don’t allow anybody to talk you down. A lot of times what I’ve seen and even myself personally, women carry a lot of imposter syndrome even when we are over qualified.
11:14:56 There studies that show that you know we go to drop interviews and we take over a given or react for less than we’re worth and we are overqualified whereas our male counterparts will have 0 qualifications or much less qualification and they’ll ask for much more.
11:15:11 And they might get it too. Yeah.
11:15:11 They just have to come and they get it. Yeah, so be confident and the way I have been able to build confidence is by empowering myself with knowledge.
11:15:19 There’s so many opportunities to learn, right? And the more you know, the less anybody can tell you.
11:15:25 Of what you can do, what you, you know, what you cannot do, how you can succeed or how you cannot succeed or how you cannot succeed because you know what you’re capable of.
11:15:34 You know what you’re capable of. You know what you have in your back pocket. So, you know, be confident about who you are on it, all what you want to do, proceed your goals.
11:15:43 Don’t let anybody talk you out of it. Back yourself up with knowledge. Knowledge is truly, truly power.
11:15:50 Like that saying is not empty. It is it is so true to so powerful and that knowledge gives you confidence and that knowledge boosts your self-esteem.
11:15:59 You know, it’s the example with, oh, people who say, oh, women are bad with money.
11:16:03 And then you start to tell yourself you’re bad with money because you don’t budget you don’t invest but have you picked up a book to just understand how much it works?
11:16:10 Have you picked up a book or listen to a podcast to understand how investing works? And I’m not saying you become the next CNBC investing anchor, but you know, once you start to empower yourself, we can learn anything we put our minds to and you realize, oh, wait a minute, this is easy.
11:16:26 This is. The skill is the skill. It’s about taking the action. No one can intimidate you.
11:16:30 Nobody can talk you out of what you want to do because you know. What it takes to get it done.
11:16:35 You know the information about it. So that’s what I would, I tell women like. If you don’t know something, don’t let that intimidate.
11:16:44 Hmm.
11:16:42 You don’t let anybody make you feel embarrassed about it. And if you’re feeling imposter syndrome, ask yourself, why do I feel this way?
11:16:48 What is challenging me to feel like I can’t do this? When I know I’m qualify, I know I’m capable.
11:16:55 Right? Is it somebody in your space that is talking down to then don’t share your goals with them?
11:17:00 Hmm.
11:17:01 Don’t spend as much time with them. Is it something about not having their right outfit in your closet when you step onto that state then go out and buy that super fabulous stress that’s gonna help you feel confident when you go to work and you have to give the presentation, when you have to do a speaking event.
11:17:16 Or a client event for your business. Find ways to empower yourself and dismiss that impartial syndrome.
11:17:26 Hmm.
11:17:26 And a lot of times our imposter syndrome comes from fear. We are afraid of what we don’t know, but fair is it’s gonna be with us.
11:17:30 And one of my mentors gave me a really great example. He’s like, listen, imagine yourself as you were a bus driver, right?
11:17:36 Imagine the school bus and you’re going on a trip. And it’s a long journey. It’s a journey of building your business.
11:17:41 It’s a journey of building your career. And so on your bus you have to carry all these people who are also taking the ride with you because they are part of you.
11:17:53 You’re carrying your esteem, your confidence, your fear, your empathy, your motivation, your inspiration, all these people are getting on the bus.
11:17:58 And fear is just the loudest loud mouth on the bus. They want to sit in the front of the bus.
11:18:03 They want to yell as loud as possible. They’re throwing the paper, they’re yelling, no one can take a nap, nobody can.
11:18:16 Hmm.
11:18:09 Hear themselves think because fear is just all over the place. And because fear is part of you can’t tell it to get out of the bus but you can say you know what fair shut up and go to the back of the bus and sit down and zip it.
11:18:21 Hmm.
11:18:21 Be quiet. You can do that because guess what? It is your bus. So you might need to scoot it to a halt on the side of the highway and tell Fair to get away from the front seat and get to the back.
11:18:36 Yes.
11:18:32 Put some tape over at Spear’s mouth. And Blake. But you are in control, you don’t want your fear to grow into this beast.
11:18:42 So remind yourself about how amazing you are about the skills you are, to grow into this beast, to remind yourself about how amazing you are about the skills you are about how successful you are, all the things you have done so well about why people love you and minimize that imposter syndrome and again own who you are at own what is that you want to do.
11:19:10 Yep.
11:18:57 Oh, so beautiful. And also, just as you were talking about the knowledge. Finding a source or a community or a way of explaining things that works for your brain and your lived experiences and the way you see the world and the way you see yourself too, right?
11:19:21 Hmm.
11:19:17 You could read a book about personal finance and be like, this is the hardest, most boring, most dry, like thing, I, this is not for me, I cannot do this.
11:19:28 And then you could find a blog like yours or some other resource or maybe it’s like you just can’t read about things you have to tactically, I don’t know, learn or whatever it is, right?
11:19:40 Finding that learning style and finding that source that suits how you like to consume and act and then building from there.
11:19:50 Yeah.
11:19:50 Right? If we care about it, then we’re able to find ways to learn about it.
11:19:58 Yeah.
11:19:55 Absolutely, yes, yes. So you may want to listen, you may read, maybe conversations with people, it could be learning from TV, videos, whatever works best for you is what works.
11:20:06 So.
11:20:06 Yeah, exactly. So how can people connect with you if they want to learn more from you?
11:20:12 If they wouldn’t learn more about you, where can they connect?
11:20:15 So personally, you can find me. On Instagram, Voila Show can be on Instagram and also on Substack where I started writing about behind the scenes of my life as a business owner and then from a business perspective you can find me on clever of finance.
11:20:32 Dot com. So, either search, B, or search clever old finance.