Been working on my mindset…

Anyone else struggle with “being present”? And not just during “official” meditation sessions, but with the task at hand, in webinars, with your kiddos or loved ones…anywhere?

My mind is always a million different places, generally anywhere but the here and now. Which doesn’t feel good.

*Exception: I’ve found I’m laser focused during sessions with my clients and during physical classes, like my daughter’s music/movement class and my workout classes. I think the former is great because I feel accountable to bringing my fullest self and making good on the trust they’ve given me, plus I’m actively listening, thinking of solutions off-the-cuff, and taking notes. I’m all in. And then with the latter, it’s almost the opposite reason—I don’t have to think or decide anything. I do what they say, how they say it, I let the music and the instructions and the other people carry me away and I’m just a little sheep for a little snippet of time. (I would HATE to live by other people’s rules all the time, but it’s such a reprieve from mom-ing/life/business ownership when it comes in those little pockets of time.)

So for the sake of being and feeling a lot more present recently, I’ve started doing little (I mean TINY) things. And I truly think they’re adding up to become huge mindset shifts that support me and my business. Like that single grain of rice tipping the scale analogy.

Here are a few ways I’ve been supporting myself:

1️⃣ No screentime during meals/snacks.

This includes working, the ever-tempting YouTube rabbit hole, streaming tv, list-making, social scrolling. I’m even trying to avoid catching up on texts during this time. Just sitting, eating, taking a beat.

I used to think to myself, “This is the only time I have to watch something!” or “I might as well work since I’m sitting here.” But I wasn’t focused on what I was doing or eating, plus it would almost always drag out my meal WAY longer (”Well, only 11 minutes left of this video, might as well finish…Oh wait, the next recommended one is only 7 minutes long…”).

Lastly, I never let my daughter have screens while eating, so I was being a bit of a hypocrite. (Aka out of alignment with my core value of integrity.)

2️⃣ Changing my computer password to “I have time.”

(Don’t come trying to unlock all my secret files now! 😉)

It used to be a money target (per the recommendation of Denise Duffield-Thomas), but honestly, that never resonated and I actually felt pretty bad about it because I literally made just under half of that “goal” last year.

For me, “I have time.” feels reassuring, positive, and grounding.

(This mini-mantra was actually inspired by something Joanna shared in Guidance Groups—she said something like “Actually, life is beautiful and I do have the time” is on her vision board. Listen to my interview with Joanna on the podcast here!)

Yes, I’m about to go into whatever research/writing/replying/whatever frenzy will take place on my computer, but my tried-and-true excuse of “I don’t have time to do xyz” simply isn’t true. I’m realizing that I always make/find time for my real priorities, so I need to lean into that energy more.

3️⃣ Doing 1-minute resets.

At the top of an Embodiment Coaching session (which I’m always running to in a mad dash, like all my other meetings), I was asked to simply sit in my body for a minute, just feeling how it feels. And honestly, that 1 minute did wonders. So I’ve committed (albeit halfheartedly and not as often as I’d like) to doing 1-minute resets when I’m feeling unsettled or frazzled.

Even I (Ashlee I-have-no-time Sang) should be able to find a minute to pause. And that 1 minute stretches into such a more productive, focused, present period afterward.

(I will say, I’m a toddler mom, so I’ve attempted this multiple times while my daughter is home and I literally couldn’t go 1 minute without being interrupted. But the sentiment is there and I could be doing this much more often during the dedicated work hours I do have.)

4️⃣ Interstitial journaling (intermittently).

I mentioned this a while back, but interstitial journaling is the idea of little entries throughout the day as your mind wanders, as big feelings or ideas pop up, etc. as a way to anchor and re-center yourself. But it’s great for someone who doesn’t feel they have a dedicated chunk of time to “journal”.

(Also stirs up memories of elementary-age Ashlee when I used to “report” about my day to my diary. I thought of myself as a bonafide journalist…or something.)

5️⃣ Tracking daily celebrations.

This is basically a standard gratitude practice or win file, or whatever other name you’ve seen it under. I simply create an entry in my daily Notion to do list and dump anything that felt good that day—big or small.

Things like booking a new client, washing my hair (which always feels like a miracle), giggles with my daughter, selling a template, a great conversation with a friend or new contact, a walk in the sunshine. Whatever I want to celebrate.

I don’t do this EVERY day, but I do aim to and it’s a really great way to celebrate throughout the day or reflect at the end of the day, especially when all the stress and annoyances are a lot stickier in our brains.

Psst: I have a whole podcast episode all about Celebrating Milestones For Continued Momentum (and defining them on your own terms).

6️⃣ Creating supportive “containers” for myself.

I was complaining to a friend that I can never seem to hold myself accountable, even though I’m SO good at offering empathetic accountability, clarity, everything I’m lacking to other people. Paradoxically, I’ve often felt “weak” or like I’m “failing” in some way to lean on others.

But then she offered a reframe that was so powerful and useful, so I’m passing it along: I am holding myself accountable by seeking out opportunities that offer outside perspective and external accountability.

These past couple months alone, I’ve taken on pro bono embodiment coaching, pro bono stress/burnout coaching, Yellow Co’s Guidance Groups*, 2 different ongoing “accountability” conversations (which is really just venting and occasional brainstorming with fellow women entrepreneurs turned friends), services swaps, even content batching.

These containers give me the support and focus I need to feel like I’m not just left to my own devices.

(*Full podcast episode about outside perspective here…*)

7️⃣ Bonus tip for you. I don’t reeeally use mantras/affirmations (even though I love the idea of them). but here are some that I’ve captured that will hopefully serve you:

✧ I take and encourage confident, meaningful action toward goals that matter.

✧ I find joy in what I’m exploring and creating.

✧ I’m fully present on the journey of my life.

✧ I’m appreciated and valued for my unique gifts.

✧ I am aligned with my values and everything I create is rooted in purpose.

✧ Purposeful progress is the goal.

✧ I control my actions and intentions.

✧ I have time and my priorities always get tended to.

✧ I can feel balanced in any given moment.

✧ I can make the best decision now and without needing to know the long-term outcome.

So I’d love to know: what practices do you have in place to support yourself as a multi-faceted human with needs and wants and a big ole’ vision for how you can make your mark on the world through your important world?

And of course, if you ever want outside perspective, a sounding board, empathetic accountability, your own “container” of support, be sure to join me for a FREE About You Audit on April 11 (details in “Save The Date” below) or via a 1:1 Quick Win Consulting Call.

 

This is an excerpt from Toward Purpose & Progress, my newsletter where I share business tips, good news, shoutouts to Founder Friends, and other juicy snippets. Subscribe here for more rants, reflections, and resources.