Anyone else going through a bit of an identity crisis, either in life or in business?
Following my own advice
I was reminded recently how we can apply our own methods and frameworks to our own businesses—NOT just saving all that good insight for our clients.
Being in integrity is one of my top values (and obviously I talk about values ALL the time), and yet I feel like so often my core messaging, my ability to hone in on a really specific audience, etc is not up to par.
So that’s at the heart of this pseudo-identity crisis. But this gap is also a really useful starting point for me to take some confident, meaningful, intentional action.
I recently gave myself a 2-hour block of time to reflect, prioritize, vision. Something I NEVER do. (White space on my calendar? What’s that?)
And because I never bake in thinking time, I wasn’t quite sure how to spend it, or what I wanted out of it.
But I ended up deciding I’d get the most clarity if I did a values audit first.
My values audit (which you can try too!)
I asked myself: where are my values showing up and are these values how I want to be known? Aka if anyone were to describe me using these words, would that feel perfectly aligned, or would something feel like it’s missing?
For example, I was once described as enthusiastic after a workshop I facilitated and I instantly related to that. Maybe that’s a personality/voice thing, not a value, but maybe it’s both. Something to consider as my business continues to evolve.
Next, I put my values—AND their unique definitions—into a Notion page and added 2 columns: Things I’m Doing (not necessarily what’s working) and What Feels Like It’s Missing.
And then I had a reflection around where those actions and values overlap. For example, my actions around contribution and integrity were almost identical. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Does that mean I’m really aligned, or are my values actually redundant in some way?
I also reflected on what’s actually feeling good—not just what I’m doing, but whether I “should” be doing it.
Something that immediately jumped out at me was my 1% for the Planet membership. I’m questioning whether it’s worth it. Am I part of this as a status symbol or misguided optimism, or because I’m connected to the mission and the community? Am I getting anything out of it—a sense of connection, additional clout, relationships with like-minded people? Or is there some other way I could be giving (monetarily or otherwise) that would feel way more aligned and personal?
The 1% for the Planet membership alone (which counts toward my overall 1% revenue donation) recently went up to $500. Could that $500 be better spent as a scholarship for my Monthly Messaging Mentorship to a business owner who couldn’t otherwise afford it or wouldn’t otherwise invest in herself? Would I feel better contributing directly to someone’s business vision and building a relationship in that way than I would sending money to a membership fee or environmental charity?
The answer: probably.
So now I have some potential action items to feel more aligned.
Values alignment red flags
Another gut check…do you tend to forget about one (or a couple) of your values? Red flag.
Or maybe you can recite your values no problem, but do you really remember (and have you internalized) what each value means to you? If not, another red flag.
Keep an eye out for signs like these that show your values may not be as “core” as you thought they were.
And no judgement—this is just data for yourself as you continue to connect your vision and your values and the ways you align both with your brand and your actions.
All the feels (but make it about business)
Another exercise I did was simply to ask myself: How do I want to feel? And importantly, what makes me feel that way?
For example, I want to feel validated. I feel this when I get direct feedback from clients or event attendees/hosts. I feel this when I get paid for my work. And I feel this when I hear from peers who have been through similar situations.
Making other people feel validated is also a strong theme for me. That’s why I share the advice and anecdotes I do on the podcast. That’s why I hold space via Quick Win Consulting Calls the way I do. That’s why I offer as much perspective and listen as intently as I do.
So the next step is, how can I seek out more situations where I feel all the things I want to feel?
And a quick caveat—in my approach to brand messaging, one of the big questions we answer is how we want our brand to make OTHERS feel. And that’s important.
But in order to have a sustainable business that we’re willing to stick with, we need to consider ourselves as the visionary and the CEO and, in the case of us service providers, the practitioner. The culture we create (even if we’re solopreneurs) matters.
And how our business makes us feel is the biggest factor in how we continue to show up now and in the future.
Getting outside perspective
Yes, set aside time for yourself to reflect and hold yourself accountable to what you say matters most.
But you don’t have to look in the proverbial mirror all alone.
You can lean on feedback from your audience (current or ideal, if they’re not one in the same) or peers you trust. You can ask someone else to hold you accountable.
I actually brought in a lot of outside accountability recently.
I talked about some of these ideas in Yellow Co’s Guidance Groups*. I created an informal accountability partnership with one of the group members where we check in with each other and swap ideas. And I worked through a lot of these elements with Lexi of Pretty Decent.
Reframing an identity crisis
So, am I actually having an identity crisis? Not in a dramatic buy-a-red-convertible-mid-life-crisis type of way. But yes, in the slow-build-shape-shifty way that running an online business stirs up.
And that’s ok.
You can view all this questioning and discomfort as an identity crisis. Or maybe as growing pains.
Or you can reframe this as an evolution and a natural part of building a brand and stepping into your role as visionary at the helm of a business. If we can expect and even appreciate these changes, maybe we can move through them more efficiently.
So that we can get on with making the impact we want to make with the people we want to work with through the business we have the privilege and responsibility of creating.
Hang in there! And if you’ve recently done some formal or informal shifting in your business, I’d love to hear about it, so let me know below!
Toward Purpose & Progress,
Ashlee
This is an excerpt from Toward Purpose & Progress, my newsletter where I share business tips, good news, shoutouts to Founder Friends, and other juicy snippets. Subscribe here for more rants, reflections, and resources.
